According to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary the first definition of grief is a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement or a cause of such suffering. I have been in the midst of a great and deep grief these past many months and I have been unable to post anything to this blog for fear of opening the wound caused by my grief too much. I have needed some time to process, deal with, and come to some sort of a semblance of terms with my grief.
This past October a child of mine died and, for now, I will not go into detail how or why my child died. I continue to seek help and move deeper into the anguish, sorrow and other emotions that this event has caused in mine and my family’s life. So much so that I am now in the midst of dealing with PTSD from this event and other events in my life that my child’s death has triggered. I will say that I am committed to turning and facing this grief head on, however, which is why I need time.
Needless to say, this blog has not been resting quietly in my mind at least and I have even begun to reaffirm my commitment to this blog. Not the least of which is it appears that the political leadership in the United States and much of Europe appears to be evil and hell bent on escalating conflict with a nuclear power instead of defusing conflict. It is funny how the specter of nuclear conflict can at least temporarily clear the dense grief induced fog from one’s being.
Soon, more to come with some changes in format, naming, and a commitment to post more consistently.